Notes I Scribbled 22 Oct 2008

It October--After a long, dry summer our grass is dieing. Our lawn service contacted Roland to offer to aerate and reseed our lawn for $600. Roland agreed to have it done after they promjsed to it it after a rain. One day it rained, a couple days later they came to do the job. Now we needed more rain. It never came. After a light rain, we feared the grass was beginning to germinate. So we took on the task of using the sprinkler and moving it around our monsterously large yard. At last, it rained again. But no rain in the forecast for all the next week.

Roland drove me to the airport this morning. He was discouraged about the lawn and said, "Next time, I'll just take the garden rake to work up the soil and reseed the barren sections of the yard myself." I thought we've been taking care of this lawn for about fifteen years! Why hadn't we done this in past years? Finally, I said, "We're never too old to learn about the things we should have already learned."

Roland laughed and replied. "I already learned it. Bob Blackburn aerated and reseeded for us once, and I did it myself once, too. But when the ground is dry and hard, it just doesn't work--but our lawn care service made it sound so good. And I hoped this time it would be different."

Today's commentary:

What was the lesson learned?? I'm really not sure. Maybe its about not caring so much about the lawn. Maybe its that we do the same thing over and over and expect a different result. How can we get out of that rut? Maybe its: If you want a green lawn, get yourself an irrigation system!

But I hope whatever the lesson was, that it is learned. Because soon we'll not have this lawn to fret about. On Thursday we're moving into a condo. The Lord will have to use other experiences to teach us lessons because I'm sticking to my words, "We're never too old to learn about the things we should have already learned."

Look what I found!

Getting the house ready to put on the market has been a lot of work for R and me! There's been so much stuff to go through to de-clutter the house. I have to say, it looks really nice. Most everything is clean and the clutter is all gone. I've got to thank E for receiving a van load over the weekend. Now its cluttering her place. : )

One of the items I came across as I was going through all our earthly possessions was M's favorite blanket as a young child. He slept with it for a good four years. It is a light-weight cotton blanket and four years of wear took its toll on the blanket! Therefore, its not in the best shape now. When I found it, I couldn't throw it out, and decided I needed to get some pictures of M with it as a record and then I could get rid of it. M graciously posed the other day and he is adorable with his blanket! After the photo shoot, I tried to throw it out. M said he didn't care one way or the other. But I put it with his possessions anyway. The little blanket made it through another round of house-purging.

Lightening the Load

Roland and I are visiting with a realtor on Saturday about putting our house on the market. This has been a great house to raise our family in, but now its rather empty--with lots of yardwork and the typical upkeep of a big house.

So for the past few weeks Roland and I have been cleaning out closets and getting rid of things we've been carrying around for a lot of years. I'm not much of packrat, but it's been monumental, especially for Roland. But the way I see it, when our children don't have to throw things out that their parents wouldn't part with, we'll have spared them alot of grief!

So over the weekend we took a few pictures of some of the "precious" items that we've been storing in boxes. Hopefully, these pictures will remind us of Roland's crazy and fun youth!

The first picture is a trophy he received in 1973 from Sigma Gamma Chi, the church's fraternity. Roland grew discouraged about all the fundraisers the fraternity had so that they could hold big formal dances at expensive places and suggested they do some service. So they voted him to be the service coordinator! Among other service projects he encouraged the fraternity to walk together in a fundraiser for the March of Dimes. His buddies made a trophy for him. The inscription on it says, " 1973 Walkathon/ . . . one small step for . . . Roland Roberts . . . one giant leap for the March of Dimes/ Presented by Sigma Gamma Chi."


When Roland was on his mission in Chile, several of the missionaries had these hats that the Chilean National Police Force wore as part of their uniform. Roland, too, really wanted one. So a member of the church got him one. He's lookin' might tough now! I suggested we get a glass box to display this hat in and he thought I was making fun of him for keeping it. But I wasn't! Really, I wasn't! However, upon further inspection the moths have been enjoying making hole in the wool. Oh, well.

You may remember Roland collected whips while on his mission. It sounds rather kinky to me, but he assures me that it was just a crazy, fun thing to collect--and there were so many different, cool ones! He had already thrown several away. This one apparently was his favorite--or maybe it just held up longer? He's also holding onto his lasso. However, now the leather is cracking and why put them all back in the box one more time when we can take a picture and brag about his collection and playful spirit?! Admire as you like, but these items aren't around anymore for anyone to fight over!

We're not sure if the house will sell. With the market the way it is, we may have to settle for a lower selling price. But that condo waiting for us surely will have a lower buying price for us, too! Regardless, our load is a little lighter now.

1995 Hike in the Smokies

I've been cleaning out my closet this evening and came across this picture. I remember the day and taking this picture as we were hiking up to Abrams Falls. As I recall, when we got up to the Falls, Brian, David and Emily dove in and went swimming. It was springtime and the water wasn't warm. We didn't bring any changes of clothes, but it seems everyone was pretty proud of their accomplishment and that seemed to compensate for their shiverin'! Well, that's the way I remember it.

I'm glad we did fun things like go hiking in the Smokies as a family--and am especially that our teenagers would come with us. Look! They even appear to be happy.

Roland's 3 Wolf Moon Birthday Party

Three Wolf Moon was the perfect theme for Roland's birthday party. Emily and Jason arrived Friday night, Michael came out of his cave and we had a great time. There was a crazy game of Rook in which Roland, Jason, and Emily beat Michael and me. The score was 540 to -265. Thinking back on it, I bet we lost because Michael didn't wear his Three Wolf Moon t-shirt! He's usually a wizard at Rook, but the competition was steep since everyone else had theirs on. (Well, Jason didn't wear one, but he doesn't own one, so that can't be held against him. ; ) Afterward, we enjoyed some amazingly moist brownies made with pumpkin instead of eggs and oil. You'll note the candles say "52", but there are eight additional candles on the cake to make it "60".

The next day we went out to Sitar to continue our party and then to see "Sherlock Holmes". It was a great movie--with some great humor and plenty of action. Then in the evening, Roland, Jason and Emily watched four episodes of 24. Jason and Emily are now fans of 24, too! They took Seasons 1 and 2 back to Manchester with them.

Happy Birthday, Roland!

Fiesta and Dancin'

My sister told me about about an opportunity to share your Fiesta Ware Story and have a chance to win two place settings of it. So I submitted my story and decided to include it on my blog. I really love my Fiesta Ware!

In 1959, as a four-year-old just starting dance lessons, I visited my dance teacher’s apartment. It was like stepping into another world filled with color and personality! My attention was drawn to a small china hutch displaying bright, colorful dishes. My young eyes had never seen a set of dishes made up of so many different colors! She invited me to sit down at her table to enjoy some cookies and fruit. I don’t remember what kind of cookie I chose, but the memory of the turquoise plate it sat on is vivid! My dance teacher’s personality was as vibrant and colorful as her Fiesta Ware.

When I was in high school, my dance teacher suddenly passed away. It was a sad time for the whole community. She had not only taught her students to dance, but to smile and let our unique personalities shine. After her death, her husband gave me some of her Fiesta Ware. Fifty years later, I still feel the same passion that I felt when I first saw it in her hutch. The bright colors help me remember to smile and celebrate every day.

As a post script to this story, we purchased some new Fiesta Ware this weekend at Kohl's. It was 50% off and we were lucky enough to get a coupon for another 30% off. I just couldn't resist. So here's a picture of Roland's salad on a new Fiesta plate. It was like a party eating salad tonight!

Coco Before Chanel

Today I enjoyed an outing with my girlfriends as we went to the theater to view the French movie, Coco Before Chanel, starring Audrey Tautou. (Who does a stunning job portraying Coco!) Before today I didn't realize that Gabrielle (Coco) Chanel grew up in an orphanage. She was born in the late 1800s, which makes her a little older than my grandmother). But, oh, she was way ahead of her time--or maybe I should say she created through her fashions, a style that lingers with us today. Thanks to Coco, we have our stylin' little black dress, bell bottoms and got rid of corsets! In the movie, her life was not portrayed as a happy one. She was taken advantage of and certainly didn't have many options on how she could survive. It was a man's world. Even though we had to read the English subtitles, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and am impressed by Coco's courage and ambition. She was not pampered socialite kind of designer--oh no, she was a pioneer--one strong woman!

Chef Michael

I came in from a busy day of tapping and visiting teaching to find Michael in the kitchen following a recipe he had on his ipod for making bagels from scratch! This is the third solo kitchen experience he's had. He finds his motivation in baking to share with the students in a math class at UT. He first baked brownies, next chocolate chip cookies. Both were big hits in his class and with dad and me, too. But I am especially impressed that he has made such delicious bagels. Working with yeast can be tricky! He needed to form the bagel, let them rise, boil them, and finally bake them. They were scrumptious! Lucky Math Class!

Honor

I received Gilead, a Pulitzer Prize book from my son, Brian, for my birthday. Its set in Iowa and is a novel written like a letter from a father, who will soon die, to his seven year-old son. The author does a remarkable job weaving a story into the things he would like to tell his son. For me one of the most poignant points he makes in his book is the love he has for his son. Here are a couple of quotes:

"I'm writing this in part to tell you that if you ever wonder what you've done in your life, and everyone does wonder sooner or later, you have been God's grace to me, a miracle, something more than a miracle. You may not remember me very well at all, and it may seem to you to be no great thing to have been the good child of an old man in a shabby little town you will no doubt leave behind. If only I had the words to tell you. . . . I suppose you're not prettier than most children. You're just a nice-looking boy, a bit slight, well scrubbed and well mannered. All that is fine, but it's your existence I love you for mainly. Existence seems to me now the most remarkable thing that could ever be imagined. I'm about to put on imperishability. In an instant, in the twinkling of an eye." (p.52)

Those words jump out of the page at me. I first thought of my own children and how much they mean to me! And then I reflected upon my mother, who died May 2008. I miss her. Every phone call and visit was cherished by her. I really didn't have to say much or do much--my accomplishments didn't need to be great. She was happy just to be with me. It seemed she truly did love me for my existence. This has to be unconditional love or honor as the author calls it when she revisits these ideas on page 136!

. . . the Lord has given most of us someone to honor--the child his parent, the parent his child. I have great respect for the uprightness of your character and the goodness of your heart, and your mother could not love you more or take greater pride in you. She has watched every moment of your life, almost, and she loves you as God does, to the marrow of your bones. To that is the honoring of the child. You see how it is godlike to love the being of someone. Your existence is a delight to us. As for the child honoring the parent, I believe that had to be commanded because the parent is a greater mystery, a stranger in a sense. So much of our lives has passed . . . (p 139) Every human being is worthy of honor, but the conscious discipline of honor is learned from this setting apart of the mother and father, who usually labor and are heavy-laden, and may be cranky or stingy or ignorant or overbearing. Believe me, I know this can be a hard Commandment to keep. But I believe also that the rewards of obedience are great, because at the root of real honor is always the sense of the sacredness of the person who is its object. . . When you love someone to the degree you love her (your mother), you see her as God sees her, and that is an instruction in the nature of God and humankind and of Being itself.

I've gained a new insight from these words. The commandment to honor our parents may actually be the way we begin to learn that every human being is worthy of honor. Honor is "the sacredness of the person". Our families are workshops to learn how to honor and love others. Its remarkable to me that we have to learn the hard part as children first, then we get to do the easy part as parents later! To honor one's children is so, so easy. To honor one's parents is the fifth commandment, but I always thought of it more simply--to follow their counsel and respect their authority. There were times in my life when I felt conflict about it. One obvious example is when I joined the Church against the counsel of my parents. But to contemplate "the sacredness" of my parents changes my perspective. As stated in the book, parents can be difficult to figure out. And, yes, they can be cranky, overbearing, stingy and ignorant! Especially as we're growing up and trying to figure out who we are. As I became an adult and could see my parents as individuals, I was freed to learn to love them more as individuals. But, I know I'm guilty of not being able to honor them at times.

When I went to Iowa to help my brother, Bill, attend to my mother's needs after a surgery, it was very easy to honor my mother. I deeply sensed the sacredness of her and felt in awe that my presence gave her such comfort and that her comfort and safety was somehow in my hands. I stayed there in Boone a couple of weeks, and when I had to leave to return to Knoxville, my mother told me that she wished I didn't have to go and I felt the same way. The relationship of mother and daughter was something we were both relishing in. I truly felt her sacredness. While the staff at the Eastern Star Home were good to her and saw to her needs the best they could those last few months, I wish it could have been me who had been there with her. Since her death in May 2008, there are times I wish that I could have known her better as an individual, but I can say that I honor her. I'm grateful to have been able to take her name to the temple and perform the temple ordinances in her behalf. Oddly, I couldn't perform the ordinances word perfect that day. I would have liked to have done it perfectly for my mother, but its okay. If anyone could overlook it, my mom could.